Neutral Laws

Whatever you think and talk about most of the time eventually comes into your life.

Thus, ‘The Laws are Neutral.’

The world is a huge complicated place, but this we can all agree on, that the laws are neutral. Born not knowing how to speak, how to walk, what to believe in, that fire burns, and cold water gives you a shiver; we learn this along our growth. We learn that we have to be obedient to get good things and that punishment always comes after wrong actions.

We learn the concept of self. Without consciously knowing it, we define ourselves, our boundaries, how we relate with others, how we perceive ourselves and our environment. We learn to judge others based on those things we think are important to us, they may not necessarily be important to them, but that does not stop us.

Self-concept involves how well we speak in public, our ability to learn new things, how creative or organized we are, how well we get along with others, how attractive we are, how well we manage our time, how hardworking we are, or our ability to adapt to different situations.

‘The whole secret of a successful life is to find out what it is one’s destiny to do and then do it.’ – Henry Ford

Self-concept can be viewed in three parts, the self-ideal, self-image and self-esteem. The self-ideal is made up of wishes and dreams of the image one would like to have. Incorporate the ideals you have of thy self into your daily behavior, in this way, your outer world begins to mirror your inner world.

Self-image is how you see yourself. Do you see yourself as confident, a go-getter, weak, or shy. These views shape your self-image.

Self-esteem is the feeling or emotional component of your personality. This has control over your performance as it determines the vitality and energy of your personality. It is the distance between your self-image and your self-ideal.

The Laws of neutral apply. ‘Garbage In, Garbage Out’. The Laws of the Universe have demonstrated this time and again.

Dig deeper into your ‘self’, feed your ‘self’ with positive nourishment and be a witness of growth in every aspect of life you exert effort in.

Stay Proactive

 

There is no real excellence in all this world which can be separated from right living.’

David Starr Jordan

Reading ‘The 7 habits of Highly Effective People’, written by Stephen R. Covey is a great awakening.

The book gives a step by step opinion on the behavior that governs highly effective people. Your life begins to change to the direction you want once you take responsibility. Take responsibility for your actions; take responsibility for your choices. You choose everyday to either stay cold and sad or to wear a smile despite the challenges.

Our mindsets always play a major role in our circumstances. When cornered by issues and almost everything is going wrong, what is our instinct? To run and hide, blame everyone else but ourselves, or to face the issues head on, accept responsibility and make a plan on how to move forward past the problems. In what category are you?

Habit number one: Proactive. Many people have this strong word jotted somewhere in their C.Vs or Cover Letters to job applications. But how many people live up to it.

‘We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.’ – Aristotle

Proactive means taking the initiative. Take the initiative to learn a skill. If you enjoy writing, or even a certain sport, take a course or two in it. Do not keep on watching from a far wishing and may be hoping, which will not do you any good. Find out what you can do about it, no matter how small, then start there, this is being proactive.

Choose to be proactive as opposed to being reactive. Reactive people blame everything and everyone around them for anything that goes wrong.

The process of reading the book gives a renewed zeal, more like the New Year resolutions where most of us are highly motivated to make changes in our lives. Unlike the New Year resolutions, continuous reading ensures that you keep track, falling off the wagon a couple of times but getting back on quickly.

 

Choose to be proactive today, influence your own happiness, your own situations. Take ownership albeit a slice of it in your decisions may they great or faulty. Make small but incremental steps towards controlling your destiny.

 

Drifting

A wise man said:

‘The only difference between successful people and those that simply accept mediocrity, the successful people commit to the disciplines needed and the average people don’t’

Drifting through life is becoming a common thing. We really have no idea what we want, what our purpose is, what goals we want to achieve. We just drift through life, lost and purpose-less.

We end up feeling inadequate and depressed when we look around and feel others have made a good life for themselves. Purpose driven people can really make you feel small.

Purpose- ‘a meaningful reason for being’

They know what they want, where they are going and exactly how to define their happiness. With no purpose, we end up drifting through life and making all types of excuses.

We make excuses for our failures, we make excuses for their successes. We say things like- what is truly yours belongs to you, no matter what. Is that really true? We say that when your time comes, no one can stop it or stand in your path to explosive success. Is this really true?

To avoid drifting through life, we need to live a conscious life. Be fully aware of what you do, the decisions you make. They say there are three types of people, the winners, the losers and the winners- in -waiting. The winners have figured out their lives, they have a purpose, they are happy at their jobs and live every moment to the full. The losers have given up hope and are stuck in their miserable corners believing they have no power to change their lives. The winners-in-waiting are not completely satisfied with everything and they strive for better; they are hungry for more meaning, more success in their lives.

Some reasons why people feel lost in their lives are explained as:

Too busy for passion– your work is to toil to pay bills and then you shut down the rest of the time. Your job gives you no joy but you view it as a necessary evil.

Vacant social support- when you feel alone and with no social support, people tend to wonder what then would they be fighting for? Why should they make space for joy and purpose in life?

Distractions– social media, T.V, phones, emails, e.t.c constantly distract us from living and enjoying the moment. We then find out when it’s too late that we never really had meaningful conversations and those deep friendships we craved were not satisfied.

False representations by the media– the media sells us perfection; mostly of items, which builds the picture of the meaning of success in life. Most of these are false expectations on the society which are just a selling gimmick by the media houses. Failure to recognize this and separate it from your expectations breeds a feeling of loss. The feeling that you can never get to that level of success. You begin to equate success to that ‘Range’ or that ‘slim model body’.

Bad diets – Bad diets fog the mind. They make you lazy, they make you weak with no energy to carry out your purpose.

Some people just can’t locate a purpose. Many are in this category. Drifting through life wondering questioning what their purpose in life is. Hoping that one day they will discover their true calling. These are the winners-in-waiting, they know they expect something more; they strive to find it.

Most of the time we are jealous of the winners, we create a picture of perfection and ‘good luck’ for them such that we cannot compete with them. We cannot be held to the same standards as they are too high, or we say they are corrupt and we do not want to be bundled as such. We have all the answers.

However for one to be successful, we need to develop ‘success habits’. These are great habits that get us to great relationships, good health, and harmonious life, getting our finances under control, and contributing positively to the community.

 

 

Her last

Her voice is too weak. She is no longer the life of the party. Her legs fail her. She used to always be up and about. She would poke her nose in other people’s businesses, showing up uninvited and with no notice, planning road trips and living it up. Now all she asks for is to be left alone. Her spirit is broken and tired, her body frail.

She does not regret her life; she tells everyone who cares to listen. She has lived it all. She gave her best, her best soul, her best laughter, her best tears, her best anger, she left nothing. She is a fighter, most fighters are lovers. The love she gave when full of energy can clearly be seen. All the people passing through her door, taking care of her, listening to her jumbled words, her past victories, being patient with her- it’s the ultimate karma. They say you get served what you deserve; what you put out in the world comes back as an echo. Her echo sounds like the tunnel or room is thousands upon thousands of length, and she is at the entrance.

Her blanket folded at the edge of her bed, she prefers to sleep covered with just a bed sheet- very hot, she says, although it is just her body feeling the heat in the winter. She tells of a time she was young and beautiful, not that she is any ugly now. Her voice fades away as she slips in and out of sleep. She claims the pain is not as bad, but anyone can see she is being brave. Handling everything with the grace and strength she always did.

As she tells a story, having awoken from the 5 minutes nap, everyone wonders if it will be her last, so everyone listens, everyone is present, and most of all, no one wants to let go.

Queen of Katwe

I love this project. I love the music used, I just about love everything about it.

Lupita is also brilliant in it. And the young girl – Phiona, ooh how she is innocent, with her background of poverty and struggle; all so brave.  She is a stubborn fighter.

‘She surrounds you till you have nowhere else to go; the fierce manner she plays is amazing.’ –Chess is the game.

Brian, Phiona’s brother gets hit by a motorcycle. They run away from the hospital due to bills, only to find their house locked. The landlady is a mean woman who advocates for Lupita- the mother- to get a sugar daddy. She can hear none of that so they leave for the streets.

They are living outside. They need a plan; chess is a game of problem solving. But they get a glimpse of an extravagant life and they could as well forget their humble life, even forget that they need to respect their elders. But life has a way of grounding us, making us remember.

They named her best boy! She can see eight moves ahead! Queen of Katwe!

The ending is all so sweet with Phiona buying her mum a home. And it’s all real! They choose a brilliant girl for the lead role- Madina.

Make time for it, it’s amazing! Would love to see more such great African story projects.

 

 

‘kaizen’

Days have been spent reading on the steps in Kaizen; from Robin Sharma’s The Monk who sold his Ferrari. It is described as a fable about fulfilling your dreams and reaching your destiny. For you to form a habit, you have to practice it for 21 days, its argued.

The rituals in the Kaizen practice include early awakening, solitude, physicality, nourishment, abundant knowledge, personal reflection, music, spoken words (mantras), congruent character and the ritual of simplicity. In the next 21 days try the mantra, given in Robin’s book : ‘I am more than I appear to be, all the world’s strength and power rests inside me’ Every day going to work and from work, instead of day dreaming and forming castles, make a mantra to go with your morning.

The early awakening ensures that you start your day peaceful and organized. It always feels calm when you are not dashing to places or to do a thousand things all at once. The serenity that surrounds early awakening can only be experienced by those who exert themselves and make an effort to wake up. The early morning is the best time to have your silent time alone, make a list of the things you want to achieve, internalize your mantra, say a prayer, give thanks for the day, pray for better, and believe you will have victories.  Listen to inspiring music, quotes, clips, speakers.

In all the practices, remain simple. Your mind is powerful. It convinces you of danger, of risks and of pay offs. You can learn how to influence yourself towards the positive edges. Condition yourself for greatness and greatness will come to you.

Never forget to read widely. The wise always read, the wise men said. Reading keeps one humbled on how little one knows and how much more there is to learn.

The Monk who sold his Ferrari is packed with lessons. Lessons learned from abundant reading.